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February 2nd, 2007
12:38 am
livejournal? whats that?
i must admit, although i don't update this anymore, i check it fairly often. and it reminds me of when i first got livejournal and that was way before myspace and how obsessed we all were with running home to update after great 80s nights and whatnot. hahaha
i was just reading old entries from the end of school. and it pretty much reflects exactly whats going on now.
i'm packing up my entire life again, preparing for a move. i don't have a job where i'm moving to. and ironically (again) just mere weeks before moving, i've finally started spending time with real true people who i am sad to be leaving.
but this time i'm moving forward. and i'm really psyched to go to philly. i never thought i'd be moving here, it never was a thought in my mind, until california seemed less and less possible. but i think i'm more of an east coast girl anyway.
i really can't believe how much stuff i own. its completely ridiculous and frustrating to pack.
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October 10th, 2006
08:56 pm - writing in this thing usually means i'm real bored.
dear everyone,
being unemployed is sorta boring, but it forces me to do productive things like work on a website and read my beach boys biography. yes, i will have a website soon. sean is gonna teach me how to make a simple one tomorrow. from there i think i can figure out designy and fun things using some skills college taught me. i feel like i may not be a failure afterall. that's a great feeling.
beth is in san francisco. so that means i'm really moving. i'm not sure when, not sure how long it takes to find an apartment. but it's all gonna come together soon i hope. its exciting.
i'm finally not sick anymore. although that's what i thought 3 weeks ago, and then i relapsed into being sick for the past 2 weeks. i think this is for real though. i'm so over being sick. i did a new squat exercise today that i saw some big-butted fitness lady doing on a tv screen in the window of a NY fitness club. my butt hurts now. i guess its working!
i've exhausted the internet for the time being. i think i'll make an appearance downstairs and say hi to my doggie.
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September 24th, 2006
11:06 am - updates i suppose
i never write here anymore. but that's okay.
beth bought her one-way ticket to california for the beginning of october. so that's amazing. i'm definitely moving now. it's official! maybe in about a month. i've got big plans for october.
i'm hungover and i don't think i have been in months. no breakfast at the met to help me now. i got really lucky this weekend, having saturday off work, and having to ask for most of today off so i could drive my sister to the busstop in mineola while my mom dines at the met (the museum, not the elite risd cafeteria) for her annual fancy brunch. so i don't have to work til 6. so i came home at 4am from the city last night. this morning. cuz my key to my dad's apartment is so shitty. it lets me in the building, and lets me up to the 5th floor in the elevator. but i can't open the deadbolt to get into the apartment. which causes me to get locked inside the elevator. ooo what fun.
i ate at the coolest restaurant on mercer. with a bathroom that you can see into the stalls, but when you shut the door and lock it, the whole glass door coats over with some sort of lighting trick or color change or something-and it becomes opaque and says "occupied" on it. it was neato.
it was fun to party again i thought i forgot how. but i miss my favorite party-buddy, bethie! can't wait to live with her again, then everything will be back to normal. except that we'll be on a whole other coast. and rent will be more expensive. and we'll have to pay it ourselves. booooo
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August 7th, 2006
09:57 pm - nice slice
semi-bored with life.
i finally sliced my finger on the deli-meatslicer. slice and dice. its not that bad i got really lucky, it feels wierd now tho. no more pain just a little piece of me that's missing. from the top of my pointer finger.
i've aquired a small fan-base of 17 year olds who come into the deli and call me Harbor Deli Girl. they leave me lots of myspace comments and embarrassed me at work today cuz i got yelled at for being nice or taking my time to make their sandwiches or something. my boss is a cranky jerk.
this is turning out to be the summer of all the wrong guys. i've gone out with 3 guys from work who aren't even close to my type plus its wierd that we work together...but at least my living AND entertainment expenses are pretty minimal now. how could i turn down free dinner and drinks and movies?
ugh i have tomorrow off, my one night a week i can stay up late guilt-free without having to wake up at 6am, and i'm bored and have nothing to do. boooooooooooooo
2 months and i'll be in san francisco. that's the plan. beth is buying her plane ticket soon. its gonna happen.
i just filled in the subject line, and really started to miss Nice Slice. i'll prob never eat there again. prob not a big deal. providence is done for me.
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July 24th, 2006
01:40 am
today my friend from work gave me my first skateboarding lesson! sweet!
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July 19th, 2006
03:30 pm - worlds greatest daughter
i just made pizza sauce from scratch
and i've done all the prep-work for 3 pizzas-
--fresh tomato, basil and fresh mozzarella pizza
--grilled chicken roasted red pepper, and goat cheese pizza
--and pepperoni pizza
i'm also making a caesar salad so i've got homemade croutons in the oven right now.
now i have to wrap my moms present, and go eat more chips ahoy rainbow chips delux cookies!
i hope someday to just marry rich and cook dinner and look pretty for my very attractive husband.
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July 17th, 2006
06:13 am
maybe agreeing to work 6 days a week was a bad idea? its totally destroying me! i have work at 7am everyday, only 2 more days til i get a day off though. which i'll probably use to just sleep all day. my body feels like an old persons. but at least i'm making money, and its tax-free, in cash. and work is kind of a good workout, with all the walking back and forth and carrying big slabs of deli-meat, and squatting to lift tubs of condiments.
i can't wait until beth and lizzy come visit. i have to ask for those 2 days off today. i'm gonna be sad if my boss doesn't let me but i don't think it'll be a problem.
alright. time to get going. just gotta look forward to that nap i'll be getting around 5 when i finally get out of work.
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July 6th, 2006
08:41 pm
work is fun! its really tiring though and i only work an 8 hour shift (no breaks!), most of the other people there work like 12 hours! and this guy is working from opening to closing tomorrow (5am-10pm!!) i'm really in for it this summer. i'm gonna be in the market for some speed soon!
but yeah its fun i think. i don't want to let the other people there know that i really love making sandwiches because they'd think i'm a wackadoo. but we've got soo many ingrediants and everything is so yummy looking! and i get to take free stuff everyday. but the boss is a grumpypants. but it's cool because i'm the only girl there and the guys got my back. they tell me what i should be doing and tell me not to take what the boss says seriously.
one of the guys asked me out today haha. he's 28, he asked me if i wanted to "grab a beer". i said okay, and now whats happening is he's picking me up and taking me to his town which is like 2 towns over, so he can change out of his work clothes (so i'm going to his place?). then i don't know what we're doing but i'm kinda scared. i've known this guy for 4 days and he's really not the type i'd usually go for, plus keep in mind i usually only go for people in my scene or whatever, like mutual friends and stuff. so i can't even get the scoop on this guy and i hope he doesn't expect anything! i'm trying not to dress too suggestively tonight.
what's worse is being at home with my mom and family. like its wierd to have my mom know this stuff and she thinks its all cute and keeps asking about this guy and what his last name is and what he looks like! like godddd shut up mom, i don't even know him and i'll probably get date-raped! sweet!
alright. no one even reads livejournal anymore. cool and good.
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June 28th, 2006
01:15 am - and once again all is right with the world
today i got hired at the deli down the street. i'm the only girl that'll be working there with a bunch of these dudes who are in no way "my kind of people" or something equally snobby i could say (they're not "hip" or "in my scene" or whatnot, choose your own snobbish remark). its cool. the bossman asked if i'd ever used a meatslicer. i really like that that's the only question he asked me about my job experience. the answer is yes. and i loved every minute of it! i get to wear a cool black teeshirt that says "harbor deli" on it, which is cool because black goes with everything now (even navy blue and brown!) and i will only have to come up with the bottom half of my outfits! livin the life!
i start on monday. at 7am. early bird catches the sandwich.
ashley's friend from miami is visiting us, and she's pretty cool. very floridian looking and all tan and leggy. and when i visit them she's gonna make sure i hit up all the neccessary south beach clubs, and i'm gonna go to the beach wearing the tiniest cutoff shorts i own and the highest platform sandles too. i can't wait!
today we went to long beach, long island. i like visiting places with the same names as places in california. like newport, RI vs. newport beach, CA. and long beach, NY vs. long beach, CA.
i ran around like an asshole and made ashley take my picture a lot.
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June 25th, 2006
09:08 pm
i feel so fresh and clean cuz i just took a shower, but it was after excercising really crazilly. so now i'm also kinda shaky. i get that way when i run in the afternoon/night as opposed to first thing in the morning. watching MTVhits while exercising is also really helpful because i get to watch the pussycat dolls gyratiing around and say to myself "just run a little faster and you'll be one step closer to looking like that" except i think some of them are kinda ugly.
i'm in the process of making beth a mix cd, because i've got nothing else fun to occupy my time with right now. its a mix of the hit songs right now, because she doesn't get MTV. needless to say, this cd is going to be very annoying and played out in 2 months. which is partially why its awesome. so far, its got nelly furtado, chamillionaire, paris hilton, panic! at the disco, and some other better songs that i just had to add for good measure.
i think tomorrow i'm going to go to the deli and ask for a job. they can't not hire me, i'm a sandwich-making pro at this point! i also consider work of this sort, more preparation for my future. a paid internship perhaps. because aside from GD i also want to open a sandwich shop (as most people already know).
what are peoples' opinion of the new christina aguilera song? i'm not sure if i should put it on the mix yet...
yay! next saturday i'm going to providence again, but only for one night. i better make it a good one i guess!
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June 21st, 2006
02:10 pm - hoodrat hoodrat hoochie mama
the lead singer of AFI is the ugliest. he shouldn't be allowed on televison.
i can't seem to enjoy many of my usual activities lately. tv is making me semi-depressed. music videos either remind me of dancing around my apartment to top 40 hip-hop and pop songs, or they are emo and suck but still tug at those little emo heartstrings that live secretly inside everyone. unless its AFI, in which case i turn the tv off.
sick of most of my music. sick of television. sick of Go-Lean Crunch.
only sugarfree ice-pops, driving moms car, trident white gum, and iron maiden.
today i look like the town hoochie. i get a kick out of that. i think i'll only dress slutty around town. stir up the suburban pot a little bit. entertain myself for as long as i can until i can get back to providence or off the east coast alltogether.
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June 20th, 2006
01:57 pm - hamtastic!
its very hot today. it doesn't appear to be, because its not sunny, but i just spent the last hour walking around just a small section of my town. doing maybe 2 circles i think. i went out to try to find a part-time job. the italian restaurant is looking for a waitress, but upon 5 seconds of consideration i realized i do not want to spend my summer working as this little waitress lady surrounded by older italian men. creepcity possibilities.
i then went nextdoor and applied at ralph's italian ices. it was blistering hot inside but they said it's just because the a/c was broken. it seems like the perfect low-key job i'm looking for. one simple task, to scoop italian ices. and i liked that they just had me put my information on a blank piece of paper because they couldn't find the applications. hopefully i get the job, because i would just love working with long island high school girls this summer. i get a kick out of them.
i got back from my vacation to providence on sunday night. i call it a vacation and not a visit, because it really was like a vacation. we went to newport, and purgatory chasm. and i ate like i was on vacation. spent every last drop of money in my bank account. it was totally worth it. spend time with all the best people ever. i wish it didn't have to end! i spent yesterday having to readjust to being home. i had my mom take me to michaels and bought iPal supplies. i made a dinosaur iPod cover, and this time it has a clear vinyl screen protector! so now my creations are totally functional!! if they didn't take that long to make i'd totally start up a small business doing this. maybe i can find some people to work with me. sweatshop style.
now i'm going to sit in front of my air conditioner.
ashley comes home today! for almost a month! this is perfect because i really need a friend at home now. my fingers are going to fall off at the rate i have to talk to people through aim and text messages. we're going to a party at some club in the meat packing district. ooosexy!
k. time to try to keep myself busy.
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June 10th, 2006
10:59 pm - a grand day out
today was a big busy day which was extremely nice because since i've been home i haven't been very active or sociable or productive or motivated. but today i woke up bright and early and went to the city. i met sean and we went to the comic festival to see jack. i gave jack a piece of chocolate cake that i made. then we went to lunch at this thai place that gave us really spicy and yummy lunch things. and it only cost like 6 dollars! great deal!
then i went to dad's apartment and spent the rest of the day with jen and my new baby sister. she's so teeny its weird. jen got us tons of indian food for dinner and we sat and talked for a long time about all sorts of life and love stuff. it made me frightened because we were talking about how she was 26 years old when she met my dad. i'm going to be 26 in 4 years! in 4 years i could be meeting the person i will marry and have kids with! that's totally not happening. but the possibility of that is just scary. just thinking about how i viewed her when she was 26. how she seemed like such a grown-up! haha. no way for me. its crazy really. how fast things happen.
when i got back into town i shared a cab with this superduper long island high school girl. i loved her accent and her voice. it was amazing. and i had to lend her my phone so she could yell at her mom and call her retarded. and then she told me how she lied to her mom because "yeah right, like i'm gonna tell my mom i went into the city to meet my boyfriend! hahah yeah mom, i'm going to the mall..." just imagine that but in the best long island high school girl accent.
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June 8th, 2006
03:58 pm - good vibrations
theres something so nice about sitting in my little red and white jumper, at my computer, attached to speakers, on ashley's bed, right in front of the cool breeze of the air conditioner. i haven't done much else than this since i've been home. i've watched a little bit of supercable downstairs on the big screen tv, but i dont' have too much of a desire to watch tv lately. not since all my shows ended. now theres only the hope that one of the hbo channels are playing a good movie.
things are happening though. today my sister didn't have school so instead of letting her play video games all day, we baked the most amazing chocolate cake. i think it's the most delicious cake i've ever baked. i wish i could prove it, but cake doesn't travel well through the mail. then i exercised while eri played sonic, but then i made her do some stretches and weights with me because shes scrawny and she really needs to stop playing video games. i can't believe my mom is just letting her stay at home during july because camp doesn't start until august. it's so bad for her. i told my dad we should ship her off to bolivia to live with our step-grandma and have her work on a cow farm or something. he seemed to think it was a great idea. it would be so good for her to just be forced into a situation like that because those people down there are very traditional and strict and would never take her bullshit or let her play video games. i wish i had the power to make that happen. just ship her off, it's the only option we've got left to fix her at this point. she's on a very dangerously anti-social spiral which can only end in her being very non-self-sufficient and have no communication skills.
if she wasn't going upstate with my dad this weekend i'd maybe take her to the mocca festival thing, at least peak her interest in comics. because its one of few things she's interested in that i approve of and would want her to get more involved in. she needs a good influence. a friend her age she can look up to to get her motivated. but no one can stand being around her. she's so annoying and awkward. its really unfortunate.
i need a good book to read this summer. summer is the only time i'm ever able to sit down and read. any suggestions?
Current Music: beach boys!
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June 6th, 2006
06:15 pm - blue skies
is it wierd that it feels like sunday was like weeks ago? like i feel like i haven't been in providence for so long, but its only been two days! and when i go to visit next week, to me it'll be like "omg i'm back!!! this is the best ever!" and to everyone else it'll be like "oh hey, didn't i just see you a week ago?" hahah it's weird how time goes so slowly when you're sitting at home doing nothing all day.
yesterday i printed 133 pictures from the past 4 years in providence. its pretty crazy to hold a picture of me freshman year next to one from a few days ago. damn i got hot! or just less ugly, and figured out that supershort hair with supershort bangs is not the look for me.
i exercised today for the first time in about a month. so hopefully when i go back to visit providence i will look all refreshed and glowy again, as opposed to how haggard and worn out i've been looking lately, with a diet of chips and pizza and soda and alcohol for the past couple weeks. not to mention how i've been wearing essentially the same 2 outfits, give or take a white wifebeater instead of a black one on occasion. hahaha.
it'll be really cool to be visiting for a couple of days without the burden of having to pack up or graduate or be depressed. just fun. thats the rule.
i'm psyched. if i can visit and people can visit me, and we can meet in NYC, then this summer will be exciting. more exciting then seeing people everyday like it is when i'm in the same town as them. distance makes everything more exciting, like phonecalls and text messages and it's gonna be really fun to have a penpal who will type me letters on his typewriter.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/scared.gif) anxious
Current Music: blind melon-no rain
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June 4th, 2006
04:47 pm - wrong island
for some reason my house on long island feels smaller than my basement apartment in providence. its really really sad. i keep looking around telling myself that this is it. i'm here now. and i can't go back. that's not even my apartment anymore. although i still have my key which i should probably send back to my landlord soon anyway.
it was really great to have lizzy staying at our place for the past couple of days. and joe too. i feel like we were a little family and today when we were cleaning the house lizzy said it was kinda like the last episodes of the real world when they all have to leave. i made it out with only really crying once this morning. so i think i did pretty good.
this last week was without a doubt one of the best weeks of my life. it was perfect. and that made it so much harder to leave. but i guess its better to leave on a high note. one where i feel honestly cared about by the people i spent time with, as opposed to having hung out with large groups of people who could care less whether i was there or not. i wouldn't have done it any other way.
i'm really glad that sitting in the rain at graduation made me sick, because its a good excuse to look as worn out as i do, when honestly its mostly because i'm extremely bummed and exhausted. not a half hour after getting in the car to go home i was already being bombarded with text messages from beth and lizzy. we totally have separation anxiety.
i hope i can adjust to home quickly. or else i'm pretty much screwed. i have to keep reminding myself that the best has yet to come. and cheesy things like how this is just the beginning of my life and so on and blah blah blah.
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June 1st, 2006
12:02 pm
my parents are coming tomorrow! tomorrow is my graduation rehearsal. i just picked up my ugly cap and gown. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i'm totally freaking out. i don't know why. i'm not having an easy time dealing with this whole thing. today my bed is being taken away and my tv looks all sad and small sitting on the floor because joe took my tv stand. make it stop!
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May 30th, 2006
06:21 pm - good vibrations
god why is life so good? i wish all summer could be like this..sitting around in front of a big fan, drinking everyday, sitting on thayer street sipping diet coke, going to barbeques. not having a job or any responsibilities sure is fun. if only i was a rich heiress of some sort, i could really live it up. oh well, i guess i've gotta start making something of myself soon.
my only pain right now is the remnants of cactus pricklies that are still stuck in my finger from when my baby cactus fell on me this morning. that, and packing up the rest of this apartment. but i'm not gonna think about that now.
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May 29th, 2006
01:56 pm - pack it up pack it in
holy S. my house is looking more depressing by the minute! someone come hangout with me while i pack up my life?
as a warning to all around me, i'm a very nostalgic person and its getting worse each day. hopefully i won't be really lame and start crying randomly. but i have done a lot of sitting on my floor in a pile of half-packed stuff, just staring around my room and being sad.
this week has to be the best ever. because i said so.
does anyone have boxes? does anyone want to take my things/furniture off my hands?
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May 27th, 2006
02:17 pm - jumperthumper
so school is over forever! my final crit went so well. i would post pics of my project but i don't feel that's necessary. it felt really good to get a good review and here things like "this is a really complete project" and "you've come a really long way" and "when you first came to me with this project, i thought, 'how am i going to deal with this one?!'" hahahah. that last ones great. that kind of reaction is exactly the aim of my project. perfect! i'm always so worried that because i don't stress of stay up late working on my projects, that must mean i'm not doing enough work, but now i know thats not true. it just means i'm excellent at time management.
i've been walking all over town these past few sunny warm days. got a bit tan which looks good and healthy on me. i don't do pale very well. which is probably another reason i'll be better off in california! haha.
yesterday at rocket to mars it was so exciting to look around and imagine what me and beth's next apartment will look like. we're gonna do it up right this time. it won't look thrown together and frat-housey. i can't wait! and i wanna grow basil and mint and rosemary in a little window box garden.
my head hurts from the long hot walk home from east side market. but i had to buy yummy foodstuffs for the potluck bbq tomorrow. yay!
ahhh the bellls! happy graduation brown seniors! make the bells stop, please.
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spaceforrent's journal